The Struggle to Overcome
by devlinof9
Summary: The beginning to a fix-it for Mass Effect 3. An attempt to get a happy ending without changing cannon at all from the "Destroy" choice. Femshep/Liara T-now, M-eventually. Part 1 has been edited, and Part 3 is now up!
1. Chapter 1

The Struggle to Overcome  
>By: devlinof9<p>

a/n: okay so I was pissed at the last 10 minutes of Mass Effect 3. So I decided that's not where it ended. Simple as that. This is Paragon/Spacer/War Hero femshep, and I didn't change a THING of the cannon ending. Let's hope it works. This style of writing is not my preferred but it seemed to want to go onto the page this way. Any critique, good or bad it welcome.

17 days AR. (After Reapers)

Where do I even begin? It has been a difficult time, tending to wounded, and assessing damage due to Normandy's crash on this unknown world. There has been barely enough time to eat or grunt greetings at other crew members before falling into a corner to sleep each night. Certainly no time to keep an account of everything we have been doing. But now that the most critically injured have been stabilized, or passed into the arms of the Goddess, may they rest peacefully, I find myself with more time on my hands.

We have been very blessed that with such damage done, relatively few have perished. Among them, the reporter Diana Allers, and Engineer Donnelly. I had feared for a time that Lt. Vega would join them, but he has shown a remarkable will to live, and even now I can hear him complaining to his friends that his newest tattoo has been irreparably damaged by his scar. The one I do fear for now, is Tali'Zorah. Though her initial injury was minor, the infection she has developed due to the quarian lack of immune system has gotten much worse over the last week. Even the doctor has reached the limit of her knowledge on how to treat it. I fear she will not see Rannoch again.

Dr. Chakwas has finally agreed to take a rest, now that the majority of her patients are out of danger. She was, herself, injured in the crash, but saw others as being in much more dire need of her services. Indeed, I believe several of the crew, including Garrus and Ashley, would have perished if not for her determination. Though it has cost her an eye, the Doctor has assured me it was a price well worth paying. She now sports a patch over the damage, which Specialist Traynor has assured me, is quite 'dashing'.

Joker is trying to maintain his usual jovial personality, while hovering over Engineers Adams and Daniels as they attempt to repair the Normandy's computer systems; I can tell that he is concerned about restoring EDI. For some reason, the Dr. Ava Core shell she had appropriated for our mission ceased functioning at the same time the ship was hit by the energy blast from Crucible.

Since there no longer seems to be a need for Prothean knowledge, I have been helping where I can in repairing the life support systems, including the food dispensers and environmental controls. The rest of my equipment can wait until things here are a little more certain. It's strange, but after such a long battle, and as long I struggled to knocking the Shadow Broker from power, culminating in actually becoming his successor, the state of the universe seems the furthest thing from my mind.

All I can seem to think about, is her. Commander Shepard. My Catherine. I keep reminding myself that the interstellar comm system will be next on the list of things to repair after our immediate needs are taken care of, but it is not easy. We haven't been able to contact anyone off planet to learn the outcome of our offensive on Earth, and I do worry for her so. Goddess please watch over the bondmate of my heart until I can be with her again.

End Log.

24 days AR.

It seems as though more than a week has passed since I first recorded Normandy's progress. There is so much to do every day that time just slips away from us all while we are working. Dr. Chakwas has taken to spending her spare time hounding the crew into eating regularly, as most, like myself, tend to forget the passage of time unless we are told. Thankfully the food dispensers were a relatively easy system to repair, so in addition to the emergency rations, which Joker calls "hockey pucks", we are in no danger of starving in the short term.

Power consumption has been an issue however, as we have very little eezo left. Most of the secondary systems like the food dispensers are capable of running on backup battery which can be recharged with solar plating along Normandy's hull. The undamaged sections of it anyway. Bypassing the ruined sections was a two day job alone. Poor Engineer Daniels even slipped on coolant from a ruptured line which resulted in a broken wrist. She seemed inconsolable after Dr. Chakwas had finished lecturing her on safety harnesses until Joker comment that the esteemed doctor had looked inches away from chewing on her eye patch. Engineer Daniels laughed quite uproariously at that. I still do not understand most of what Humans find funny.

On a happier note, Tali'Zorah has seemed to improve over the last few days. I have been spending what short times I take for meals sitting in the infirmary to keep her company. It isn't as much time as I would like, but Tali is very seldom conscious, though I believe the sound of my voice through the tiny speakers in the biogenetic capsule does help. It is difficult to know for sure though, as touching the mind of a Quarian has never been done by the Asari. I'm not even sure it's possible.

When I am not helping the doctor, I am going through EDI's system processes, trying to streamline her power consumption. Chief Adams, with Joker's hovering, did manage to get her online briefly a few days ago, but it caused an immediate short of all the systems we had already repaired. We quickly discovered that the automated start-up was trying to connect to the entire ship, and using more power than we had available. So Specialist Traynor and I are attempting to remove key sequences that will search for engines and the galaxy map, among other systems that we have no need of at the present time. (a visual inspection of the exterior of Normandy when we first crashed confirmed that all but one of the drive engines had been completely lost. The last being damaged beyond any hope of repair)

Tomorrow I hope to find time to work on the interstellar comm system. It's the one thing on everyone's mind. Being able to connect with our loved ones. Even if we can't reach them. Just to know who survived. Who carries on. We all need that. I need that. The crew need to hear from Commander Shepard. I need to hear from my Catherine.

End Log

27 days AR

Tali died some time during the night. Dr. Chakwas informed me when I entered the infirmary with my morning meal as I have done the past several days. She had no answers as to when or why, only that when she woke, the young Quarian was gone. Several of the patient monitoring systems are still not functioning, so no alert of her halted life signs went off. Only the biogenetic capsule, usually used in cases of extreme biohazard, had registered her death and deflated, shrinking to cocoon her body as it was designed for.

It pains my heart to know that Tali died alone, though my fervent prayer to the Goddess is that she was unaware of what was happening. I couldn't help feeling angry at Dr. Chakwas, though I would never voice such a thing. She is a gifted physician that has already done much more for the crew than anyone could ever hope for. I can see the pain she feels that she has lost another patient, especially one of us that she has known through so much. First the battle against Saren and Sovereign, then the Collectors and Harbinger, and finally the Reapers.

The day has been a very somber one. What work would normally be done in repairing the systems was set aside by everyone, so that we could pay respect to the memory of such a strong young woman. Though it was painful to my heart, I helped the doctor place Tali back into her suit, and then lay her to rest in a stasis tube the humans call 'coffins'.

It was carried outside to the bluff behind Normandy's hull by the engineers, and Ashley on her first trip out of the infirmary spoke words of reverence from her religious texts. Not one crew member was absent. Even Joker attended, his gentle arm around my shoulders attempting comfort even as I helped Garrus to support the pilot on his weak legs.

Though there is still so much work to do repairing damaged systems, no one returned to their tasks. For the rest of the day the crew sat and reminisced about the young Quarian woman, sharing stories sometimes brave, and sometimes humorous. All were filled with love, however, and I was warmed to see that my eyes were not the only ones blurred by tears.

And so another day ends on this unknown world, and I find myself wondering just how much more we can afford to lose before it begins to erode what hope remains. Keelah'selai, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. May you find peace and comfort in the embrace of the Goddess, and may your spirit soar in the skies of your homeworld. Goodbye, my friend.

End log.

33 days AR

Praise the Goddess for her mercy, we have finally had a day worthy of celebration! It was only this morning that we managed to get the interstellar comm systems back online. It was only for a few moments, but long enough to establish contact with an Alliance ship. Lt. Commander Williams spoke with a Captain Riley, who assured us that the Reapers had been completely destroyed by the mysterious blast from the Crucible.

It was remarkable how many of us were able to fit into the tiny comm room, listening to the voice filter through the speakers. The holographic interface hasn't been repaired yet, but I believe the crew will redouble their efforts now that contact has been established.

Not all of the news was good however. It seems the Geth were completely destroyed along with the Reapers. Science teams examining the derelict vessels have apparently postulated that all synthetic life has been wiped out by the blast, not just the Reapers. If that's true, I'm not sure what shape EDI will be in when and if we finally restore her systems.

The Citadel has also been damaged beyond imagining. We learned that the center ring was blown apart by the force of the Crucible, and though there is minor damage to the rest of the station, how to restore it is very far back in the minds of the engineers. The Crucible itself was left relatively intact, however, though it will probably never work again.

And one other piece of information that caused a cheer through the entire ship; Commander Shepard has been found alive. My Catherine lives! We did not receive much information before the connection was ended, only that she had been badly injured and placed in stasis. I was filled with such dread at that moment, I could swear to the Goddess that my heart would stop beating. I lived through her death once before, and I'm not sure if I could accomplish such a thing again.

I made sure that Ashley forwarded Miranda Lawson's name along with the Lazarus Project to Captain Riley in hopes that something could be done with the information. In addition, during the short communication, we transmitted the names of the dead, and Lt. Commander Williams, as the ranking Alliance officer on board, submitted Dr. Chakwas and Joker both for commendations.

We have been assured that all efforts to recover and rebuild are underway, though with the Mass Relays also heavily damaged, if not outright destroyed by the energy blast, there is no time estimate on when we can expect a rescue ship. Captain Riley has promised to contact us again at a designated time next week, so that we may conserve our remaining power cells, with more news of what has transpired.

It seems so little information, but even that small amount has bolstered the spirits of the crew. Many tears have been shed today, not a few of them my own, for the thought that we are not alone, and that our galaxy survives. There is a renewed energy to everyone that has been steadily fading as time progressed with no word of our loved ones. Now we have a connection, albeit intermittent, and home no longer seems so far away.

End Log.

40 days AR

So much has been happening lately that it is difficult to know where to begin. After our first contact with the Alliance, repairs renewed with even more progress than before. Now that Ashley has recovered fully from her injuries, she has organized the work into a much more streamlined process. Though she seems to find great frustration with Joker continually comparing her own new permanent limp as being only a shadow of his own. I do not think I will ever understand what Humans find amusing.

The Lt. Commander has railed against her new infirmity several times over the past weeks, but I occasionally find myself reassuring her that given the extent of the damage to her lower extremities, she has made a miraculous recovery. Indeed I have seen Asari commandos that have lost either or both legs from injuries not unlike what Ashley suffered in the crash. She has explained to me that it is very 'Human' to castigate ones self rather than others, so our give and take continues.

Our second communication with the Alliance was quite illuminating as well. Instead of Captain Riley, we were greeted by the sight of Admiral Hackett himself, which seemed to make everyone stand taller, though he could only see Ashley standing on the transmission pad. His usually gruff voice was almost warm as he informed Normandy's crew that the family he could contact had been told of our survival, and even sent a compressed data transmission filled with letters of greeting.

While I had hoped, I was not expecting was a file addressed to me, since I have no idea if Matriarch Aethyta even managed to escape the Citadel before the Reapers took it. I pray the Goddess has kept her safe, but given that her father was Krogan, it is more likely that she fought bravely to the last breath. In fact, there were three messages. One from the Asari Councillor praising my courage and assuring me that she had heard from Thessia, which gave me much relief. I had feared that my people were all but destroyed after what I saw there on our journey to the Temple of Athame.

Another from Hannah Shepard, my Catherine's mother, speaking of a letter the Alliance had given her. Catherine once told me that she had letters written to her family in case of her incapacitation, but to hear Matron Shepard speak of her daughter's love for me caused no end of joy and sorrow in my heart. I am grateful to the Goddess that I had the forethought to read the files in private, for it took me longer than I would have liked to stop the tears that flowed. Oh Catherine I miss you so much.

The last gave me the most hope, for it was from Miranda Lawson. She and her sister are both alive, though far from Earth. She assures me that she will never forgive me for giving her name to the Alliance, but that she transmitted everything she had kept on the Lazarus Project to them when asked. Unfortunately the Mass Relays being so badly damaged prevent her from attending to Commander Shepard in person, however she was kind enough to point out that it was fortunate for my sake, as she now has a desperate desire to 'put her boot up my ass', which sounds rather uncomfortable.

The crew seem intent on celebrating again tonight, with fresh connection to the galaxy in their hearts and minds. While I'm sure it will be an event to remember, or not remember, if Mr. Vega's 'secret recipe quad kicker' makes another appearance, I am exhausted from the mental and emotional exertions. I will sleep well tonight, and pray to the Goddess to once again keep my Catherine safe.

End Log.

46 days AR

After spending the last three days bent over a computer interface, the very last thing I wish to do is record our progress, but I began this project and I must see it through. Engineer Adams, Joker, and I have managed to complete all we can of the damaged programming of EDI's systems. We powered it up briefly to check for stability just before evening meal. Hopefully in the morning we can complete the system checks and bring her back online. There is a lot of missing data in her core, but I have no idea how it was deleted, only that it has been completely erased. I do hope it doesn't affect her too badly. Joker is so excited, that any major deviation will probably devastate him.

By the Goddess I am tired. I have done no more in the last week than my usual, but for some reason I grow much more weary than I should. Perhaps my Asari physiology has reacted to something in the atmosphere that others are immune to. In any event, I will speak to Dr. Chakwas tomorrow if I have not improved with rest. She is highly knowledgeable in regards to my people's health.

Thankfully, Mr. Vega found the survival stores today while clearing out the shuttle bay. Ashley had taken him down below to see if any of the hammerheads or shuttles were still functional. Unfortunately, nothing immediately serviceable was found, but they were both touted as heroes for returning with scores of blankets and self-inflating mattresses.

With none of the sleeper pods in use to conserve power, the crew have been suffering through a rotating schedule for time in the few beds available. Only the Commander's cabin has been spared, out of respect I imagine. Ashley, as ranking officer, has taken over that room, sharing with Joker, who is unable due to Vrolik's Syndrome of taking part in the rotation.

I must admit, though I have offered my own bed for use in the schedule, I sometimes wish I had not. Most often is it immediately upon waking after a night on the floor. I am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again. Perhaps tomorrow, if I sleep well enough, I will begin work on Glyph. If there is something wrong with EDI he may be able to assist. But all of that will wait until the scheduled check in with the Alliance. Another week, another communication. I hold a fervent hope that Catherine's condition has improved.

End Log 


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews!

~countwes: I couldn't agree more!

~Ca: I'll do my best. J

~Catinruins: I'm working on it J

~Tas: I'm glad it's helping.

~SinnX: I think that's still being debated, and I'm trying to stay cannon with story elements as far as what I remember from playing. UPDATE!: Changes made to Part 1. Thanks!

~Fervus18: wow thank you! I'll do my best to live up to that.

Aaaaaaand here we go!

52 days AR

By the Goddess, I am not even sure where to begin. It has been several days since I last wrote of our progress on this unknown world, but so much has happened; perhaps too much to even process completely even now.

The day after my last entry, we did hear from the Alliance, for what is becoming our usual update. Admiral Hackett seems to have taken it upon himself to be our direct contact, which seems to please Ashley beyond measure. I believe she fears that her fairly new status as a Spectre would have meant the Council taking over. She is a career soldier, so the Alliance would naturally be more familiar and comfortable for her.

The Admiral sent more letters in another data burst transmission, and informed of us of loved ones and friends that had been reported alive. Apparently, even without the Mass Relays operational, there are long range signal transmitters being brought online in several systems. The citizens of the galaxy are reaching out to find each other. It is a heart warming thought.

We were also given an update on Commander Shepard's status. While her stasis continues unchanged, it is still a great relief. Even in this day of such technological advances, maintaining a stable stasis can be difficult, especially with severe injury. Admiral Hackett did assure us, however, that the very best medical and scientific minds of Earth were deep into the Lazarus Project files that Miranda had given them.

Also very welcome news was that the Quarians had decided to lend a hand repurposing much of the left over Reaper and Geth technology. Several dozen ships from the Flotilla have been stranded in the Sol System, and I believe they are hoping to use the derelict vessels to somehow repair the damaged Mass Relays. The Admiral is hopeful, but also reminded us that it may be several months to a few years before they are operational again, if it is even possible. Presently, it is all theory.

There is so much more happening, but I must record it another day. I am under strict orders from Dr. Chakwas to rest as much as possible right now. My fatigue did not abate as I had hoped, and after several days of testing for various possible infectious and toxic agents, she finally discovered the cause only yesterday. Completely on a hunch, which I am learning Humans are very good at.

Perhaps because of our closeness, perhaps the last time I bonded with Catherine. Sharing our memories, our hope, our dreams, our goodbyes; our Embrace has never been so deep. It must have been then, but I had no idea. I am still having a difficult time believing it, even after Dr. Chakwas showed me the tests she ran twice. Goddess. I am carrying new life.

End Log

55 Days AR

The enforced rest has not only been beneficial for my health, as I am feeling much less fatigued. It has also given me an opportunity to work on repairing Glyph. Thankfully there isn't as much damage to the drone's VI as I am used to in wading through EDI's systems, even with the modifications I had done.

Dr. Chakwas wasn't terribly pleased when she checked on me yesterday, but she acquiesced quite easily when I explained that I needed something to keep me occupied, and reprogramming a VI with my Omni tool is much better than crawling over broken hull plates. She seems overly cautious with me right now, perhaps because there is so very little to do, other than read Lazarus Project files that she received in last week's data burst transmission. Catherine once told me that the doctor saw Normandy's crew as her family. Perhaps that is why she hovers over us all so, even beyond what her calling as a physician dictates.

It was more than likely the cause of the argument I overheard between her and Lt. Commander Williams as well. Ashley seems less than pleased at my newly realized condition, and had more than few rather negative comments on the subject. I must admit I was quite shocked at what I heard; I had not realized how deeply held her prejudices against non-humans ran.

I am forever thankful to Dr. Chakwas for her strong defence of my character. To be fair, however, not many would know until they asked, how different Human and Asari physiologies are. From what little I did overhear before the doctor insisted they return to her office, I believe Ashley assumed that I must have bonded with one of the male crew since our crash landing. In fact, dishonoring Commander Shepard. It hurt more than I would have thought; I love Catherine with every part of my soul.

Tomorrow I will have to speak with Lt. Commander Williams. I respect her ability to command Normandy's crew in this difficult time, but we are going to have to 'clear the air' as Humans are fond of saying. We will have to find a way of working together that does not offend her sensibilities, or my honor.

End Log

60 days AR

We received a transmission this morning from the Alliance, a day early with wonderful news. The scientists on Earth have started work on sections of the Lazarus project. No longer are they simply researching ways to help Commander Shepard; they have begun the process of healing her broken body.

When Ashley came to inform me of the latest development, she said that Admiral Hackett had also been in regular contact with Miranda. Apparently more than a few of her files were heavily encrypted and needed access codes that only she could provide. It brought back memories of Miranda's letter to me, and I find myself smiling even now as I think of it.

Thankfully, The Lt. Commander and I have settled our differences, though not without some difficulty. The day after my last entry, with the doctor's blessing, I returned to my work with EDI's systems; I fear it may be a lost cause to return her to her former self, but I will keep trying for Joker's sake if nothing else. It wasn't long before Ashley found me, deep in the AI Core, among all the wiring. Honestly, I expected the confrontation, but not the immediacy. Or the volume. Thank the Goddess for sound proofing.

Many things were said, none of them kind. We both raged for quite some time, and I am rather ashamed at my loss of control. I have not been that angry since Catherine and I faced the Shadow Broker together. I could feel the flash of my biotics and I nearly forced her through a wall I was so infuriated at her mere suggestion of infidelity. I see now that she is only trying to defend our commanding officer and her friend. But she is more than my friend. She must have seen the truth of that when I all but screamed those very words, because she ceased nearly immediately.

I didn't even realize I was crying until Ashley had lunged forward an wrapped me in her strong embrace. Strength and rage both abandoned me, and I couldn't tell how long we remained on the floor surrounded by mismatched cabling, but I do feel much better, as if a great weight has been lifted from my chest. For all the good it has done, there definitely was a downside; someone must have come into the AI Core for something, and reported our state to Dr. Chakwas. I have rarely seen her in such a state, growling at us both, without any of her usual calm, motherly attitude.

I must have looked horrible from the emotional release of crying, for once again, I was subjected to test after test, and a full afternoon in the infirmary while the doctor assured herself of my health. Dr. Chakwas is most assuredly very knowledgeable on Asari physiology, and her concern is touching. She has lectured both Lt. Commander Williams and myself on the higher risk of my condition given my young age, and our current inability to access any specialists should something go wrong. I realize that I am only 109, very young to be reproducing, as most Asari are at least passing their second century before having their first child; it is a concern that we have spoken of more than once.

The end result is that I am, once again, on enforced rest. Something that Joker and Garrus have both found quite amusing. They seem as though I imagine siblings would be, had I any; teasing incessantly when able, yet preventing anyone else from doing the same. I confess I have imagined biotically tossing something in their direction when they start their juvenile commentary, but my concern that Joker would injure himself has kept me in check. Barely.

It hasn't taken long for the entire crew to learn of my condition. I didn't expect that it would. Normandy has been our home on and off for three years, and many of us are like family to each other. Now that they know I carry Commander Shepard's child, most seem to treat me more gently. Tones are softer, requesting help rather than demanding; I'm not sure yet, why it bothers me to be treated thus, only that it does. Perhaps much of it is a Human instinct. Garrus treats me no differently, aside from his new found hobby of instigating our pilot into conversations that try my patience even as they amuse me to no end.

Perhaps, if I am confined to resting much longer, I may have to dismantle all of his weapons, if only to give him something constructive to do. The fact that it may teach him a lesson is entirely secondary. I may have observed many things from watching my mother the Matriarch, not all of them pleasant, but I did learn how to keep those younger than yourself from thinking they have the upper hand.

End Log

74 days AR

News from the Alliance today; Catherine has successfully made it through the first of many surgeries. Though it was only to repair and replace some synthetic filaments regulating her heartbeat before placing her back in stasis, things look hopeful. Admiral Hackett said the report he received from the head of 'Shepard Project' as they're now calling it, was very positive. He did admit, however, that he receives almost daily ranting at how infuriating any communication with Miranda is. Having spent quite a bit of time with her, I can agree. I do feel sorry for those doctors on occasion.

The Quarians have also made a breakthrough with the leftover Reaper derelicts. Ashley showed me the file she had received, hoping I would be able to understand it better than she. I will confess, not being an engineer, a lot of it was beyond my capability, but I have picked up a few things from being the Shadow Broker. All that information has definitely left it's mark. It would seem that the question of repairing the Mass Relays hasn't been one of structure, but rather frequency.

Much of it is very technical, and I'm sure if given some time Engineer Adams or Daniels could fully explain it to us both. Very basically, the Mass Relays have an energy output at a specific frequency and duration that is unique to the size of the craft using it, and without the knowledge of how to program that into the repaired Relays, the results could be disastrous. The Reapers, while not seeming to need the Mass Relays to travel, were in fact, using their energy frequencies to shift their own internal drives into miniature Relays. Since those were not overloaded as the Mass Relays were, their programming of those specific frequencies was left intact.

Admiral Hackett is very confident that as soon as the Mass Relays have been repaired, or in some cases, rebuilt, the Quarian engineers can transfer the appropriate frequencies and re-establish the network much quicker than previously thought. Our concept of rescue has, in the span of a day, gone from 'possibly in a few years' to 'definitely, though it may take some time'. Every advancement brings us closer to home.

Apparently, celebrations are to be held tonight, and Mr. Vega has been looking more pleased with himself than usual all day. Given that he disappeared into what is left of the shuttle bay this morning with an enormous bowl of peaches from the meal dispenser, I have no doubt that his 'secret recipe' will make another showing. Although I have no idea how he manages to concoct his horrible beverage so quickly, I am grateful for it's appearance. It seems to be the only relaxation that most of the crew get these days, even if they do regret it after the fact.

My absence from the festivities will not be uncommon either. It is no secret that I am not comfortable in social situations, though I have gotten much better at that since meeting Commander Shepard. I prefer to spend the time in quiet meditation, which is good both for me and the child I carry. I have yet to feel her touch my mind, but I do keep hoping for that first brush of unformed presence, even though I realize it is still much too early for it.

Rationally, I know it could be 3 or 4 more months before I feel that consciousness, and it will be at least another 18 months before she is born, but I find I am impatient. Now that I have grown accustomed to the situation, I struggle to keep my own excitement in check. Dr. Chakwas assures me this is very normal for all expectant mothers, no matter the species. So I will meditate tonight, and attempt to calm my impatience. Better that than to attend a celebration that would feel awkward.

Besides, Garrus is still not speaking to me. He hasn't yet found the modified heat sink for his Widow sniper rifle, and he is still rather annoyed that I took his most beloved weapon apart. Perhaps as a peace offering I will tell him where it is hidden tomorrow, with a gentle suggestion that he not be so tormenting in the future.

Joker has resumed conversing with me, however, if only to inform me in a much too polite voice "oh, it's on, Doc". That does concern me, as Joker never uses that tone of voice unless he is planning something that usually isn't taken well by Lt. Commander Williams. I suppose I may have gone a little too far by spreading blueberry jam all over his pilot seat, but I have grown so very tired of hearing him refer to the child forming within me as "Shepard's little blueberry".

At least it his indignant bellowing made Dr. Chakwas laugh for most of the day.

End Log

~ okay so this part went a lot more smoothly and quickly than I thought it would. Please let me know if you think I'm keeping things interesting or if I should quit while I'm ahead LOL thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: First, I must apologise for my delay in posting. A family tragedy has taken up most of my time for the better part of a week. It's also short I know, but it is a good point to break. The next section kind of has to stay together.

Now, a couple of things I would like to address before continuing. There have been several comments to me in PM about my decision to not include Matriarch Aethyta (the bartender from Illium) as Liara's other parent. At the time I began writing this, I had only been through ME3 once, and I didn't find that little subplot on my first play through. Now that I am on my second, I have indeed found it. Mea Culpa. I have gone back and corrected that section of my story, as I am trying to stay as cannon as possible to the original story. My thanks to those who pointed it out.

Secondly, one review stood out as making a very good point about dwindling food quantities for Turians and Quarians, (though the latter has already been solved with Tali's death earlier in the story) and I hope this part answers the question. Good thought, Natzo, but you were getting ahead of the plot, as I was only about halfway through writing this part when you made your review. Kindly stop reading my mind. *laugh*

As always, thank you all so very much for your reviews. They absolutely brighten my day! I'm so very happy that so many people are enjoying my version of what happened after the end of Mass Effect 3.

Aaaaaannnnd now I'll shut up so we can get back to our story in progress.

80 days AR

I hadn't intended on writing again until tomorrow, but events have changed, and I feel I must record recent events. Both for my own sake, but also in the event that members of the crew come under scrutiny for their actions once rescue arrives. I will state with no hesitation that we have had absolutely no other choice in what has occurred.

Two days after the latest celebration, many ears still ringing from Dr. Chakwas's chastising remarks of "never again" in reference to Mr. Vega's 'secret recipe', we were attacked. The outer airlock of Normandy's docking port was their entry point; we had thought the planet uninhabited, and left it open through the day to allow fresh air to circulate the main cabins. As a result, a small band of pirates took the crew completely by surprise.

I had no idea, being a deck below in the AI Core, until the door was opened, and Dr. Chakwas hurried in. She was supporting Specialist Traynor, who had been shot, though not seriously, thank the Goddess. All we could do was secure the door and do our best to help the wounded R&D tech until everything was over. I cannot express how helpless I felt.

I wanted to help my crew, and I knew my biotics were occasionally flaring, but Dr. Chakwas was most insistent that I remain hidden for the sake of my child. I do not disagree with her actions, not even slightly, but the inability to assist my friends gnaws at me. I feel nearly as protective of them as I do of the life growing within me; I am torn in two different directions.

Minutes seemed like hours, but the fighting did end quickly. Once Normandy had been secured, we returned to the infirmary. Dr. Chakwas wasn't going to be short of patients to tend. Besides Specialist Traynor, who required only a minor procedure to her leg, Ashley and Garrus both needed treatment for minor incendiary burns. Pirates are many things, but fair opponents is not one of them. Incendiary rounds were designed to combat the Geth, and are incredibly damaging to flesh. And of course, Joker had broken his arm and wrist, when he impacted the floor after diving to cover. When I finally left the infirmary, Garrus and the pilot were already trading barbs about each others actions during the fight.

It was hours before anyone thought to question the pirates arrival. I learned that there was no sound of approaching shuttle so either they had landed some distance away, or had stumbled upon the crash accidentally while looking for something else. Garrus observed that they weren't very well armed, so they must not have expected a fight, which lent weight to the second theory.

Search parties were sent out and guard duties were established. It took nearly a full day, but we found their shuttle. Mr. Vega looked much like a conquering hero when he landed next to Normandy, and I must admit we were all quite glad to see him, especially when he opened the hatch and revealed a cargo bay full of stolen provisions and gathered food. And one very unconscious pilot, who had been bound in an uncomfortable manner that Joker said was 'hog-tying'.

When he woke up, the pirate was less than impressed with his situation. Unfortunately he was also less than co-operative when questioned about where he and his friends came from. Which is the entire reason for this entry. Convincing the pirate to share what he knew required less than approved methods of questioning. Dr. Chakwas voiced her disagreements quite strongly, but Ashley, Garrus and I agreed that our actions were the lesser of evils, if our other option was waiting for another attack to come. The end result was that we have learned of a small bunker style base on an island not far from us; and even as I write Ashley and Garrus are discussing with a few crew members how best to proceed with what they learned on their three day surveillance.

I am much too tired to join in the discussions, but I attend regardless. Being on my own would probably bring sleep. Sleep brings the memory of that pirate begging for mercy. And that I cannot bear. Even in my two years as an information broker, difficult negotiations were always handled with a well placed threat, or the actions of those I employed. I never had to raise my hand outside of a battle with Commander Shepard. What will Catherine say when she learns of what we have done? Will she forgive us? Will she forgive me? Goddess, can I ever forgive myself?

End Log.

82 days AR

I spoke to Admiral Hackett today. He was quite concerned that I was present for the weekly update; it turned quickly to annoyance however, when I updated him on the attack. His questions came hard and fast, wanting to know of the incident, and of why it hadn't happened earlier. I admit, I too am still puzzled by this, but hopefully when Ashley, Mr. Vega, and Garrus return from their raid on the pirate bunker, they will bring answers.

As it stands, I was unable to give the Admiral what he wished, much to my own discomfort. Since becoming an information broker, seldom has a situation occurred that I do not already have all the available answers for. It is disconcerting to say the least. I must finish repairing Glyph's probability matrixes as soon as possible. As annoying as I first found the little VI drone to be, he has become quite valuable.

The Admiral did keep our communication short, as I'm sure there was much occupying his time back on Earth. At least he did give me an update on Catherine's condition. The surgeries continue, usually two every week, small repairs or replacements of the synthetics first installed by Miranda's team. But Commander Shepard holds strong. My love would not bow to a Reaper invasion; mere physical injury won't defeat her either.

The rest of my day was spent trying to work on EDI, though I believe that is becoming the lost cause I feared. So much of her programming had to be reworked, and even more is just gone, that I hold little hope of restoring the AI to her former self. I do keep trying though, for Joker's sake, if nothing else. While he is confined to the infirmary, at least he can witness first hand, how hard we are trying.

I must conclude this, as Dr. Chakwas has just summoned me. Ashley and the others have returned, and from the doctor's tone, I'm sure the upcoming conversation will last long into the night.

End Log

88 days AR

It has been a very gruelling few days, but the end result is that we are all safely back aboard the Normandy. There was indeed much discussion about what had been found at the pirate bunker; not about what to do with the supplies we had liberated, but whether to move the crew to the more secure location. It was a conversation that lasted longer than I would care to admit, since I find I am growing tired more easily in recent days.

There were a few who argued that the bunker would be a more defensible position, but it had to be weighed against the possibility that not all the pirates had been dealt with. Garrus also brought up the point that we would have no contact with the Alliance should we leave Normandy. It was a difficult evening, and I feel for Ashley. She had to make the final decision, being the highest ranking officer here.

We have spent much of the last few days using the shuttle we confiscated from the pirates to clear out the bunker of whatever we could find. We still have no firm answer on when we might expect rescue, so a bit of hoarding is unfortunately, quite necessary at this point. Explosives were set and detonated on the last trip to completely destroy what was left in hopes that if any other pirates came looking, it would seem that a major military force had taken out their base.

Mr. Vega and Ashley spent a full day assembling one of the temporary shelters that were found in the shuttle bay with the rest of the survival equipment, so thankfully, we have a place to store the crates of equipment and weaponry. Those two have become quite close, but I doubt anyone besides Garrus and I have noticed.

The extra food, both rations, and somewhat fresh, have been stored in a back corner of the AI Core, as it is cool enough in there to keep things from spoiling. In addition to colony rations, we also found quite a stockpile of turian foodstuffs, which lead me to believe that the pirates had salvaged a wrecked refugee ship before the Mass Relays were damaged. The alternative is far too horrible to think about. Why is it that war brings out the very worst in every species?

The positive side of this, is that Garrus won't have to worry about food for a while. Even with rationing himself, and Tali's unfortunate passing, things were becoming quite dire. I would honestly hate to see him waste away and die. Garrus is too proud a soldier to allow something like that to happen, and I'd rather not have to deal with the very real possibility of him ending his own life rather than starve.

Ashley has also drawn up a plan for guard duty until the early warning system of sensors I have been working on is complete. Hopefully it won't be too many more days, and we won't have to worry about being surprised again. Having round the clock sentries is taxing for the crew, but unfortunately at present we have no other choice.

Tonight I hope to resume my meditations. There has been little time or energy at the end of each day for such things, but now, hopefully, things will settle into a bit more of the mundane tasks that I have become accustomed to. My energy levels continue to decline, but Dr. Chakwas assures me that is normal with the first trimester of Asari gestation. Goddess, I cannot even consider that I have another 3 months of this exhaustion to look forward to.

End Log


End file.
